When I was in high school it was made very clear to us, as students, that we had certain rights. It was also made clear that alongside those rights we had certain responsibilites. From what I have seen of my children's school it is much the same there. What is sad is that it doesn't seem to translate to humanity in general.
We hear much about rights. Human rights, men's rights, prisoner's rights, women's rights. But maybe it's about time that the responsibilities that go with those rights are clearly articulated. For example:
Right: To live free of violence
Responsibility: Not to be violent to others
Right: To be treated humanely.
Responsibility: To treat all others humanely.
Rights are all well and good but unless they are tied to responsibilities then they are next to meaningless. One example I have seen recently is a commentator on an Opinion e-newspaper. He rabbits on about the evil of feminism and how it's destroying the world and how men's rights groups are the only ones to have it right. But never does he mention the responsibilities that men have. It is like a little kid who wants everything and won't shre. One of his favourite hobby-horses is the evils of the Family Law Act, in regards to fathers (leading many other commentators to speculate that he has been done over by that system). He talks about the rights of fathers to know their children, to have equal access and time with their children. Nowhere does he mention the children's rights to live free of fear and intimidation, to have a stable and happy life. Nor does he mention the responsibilities men have regarding their children. That responsibility does not start and end with paying child support, as so many think it does (Not all. There are many men who fight not just their rights but their responsibilities). There is a responsibility to treat your children as people in their own right, not as extensions of themselves. There is a responsibility to provide for your children, beyond what is required in child support. That means a safe environment to go to when with their fathers, proper meals and other requirements when they are with their father (clothes, shoes, entertainment). There is a responsibility to ensure your children's safety. This can range from ensuring they have proper safety equipment for activities they my do with the father, such as bike riding, to ensuring that they get sufficient sleep, are not around illegal drug use and are not taken to places where their physical and emotional safety may be put at risk. It should go without saying that these responsibilities belong to BOTH parents, however it often doesn't seem to be the case.
A mother also has many responsibilities. One of those, as put forward in the Family Law Act is to be a "friendly"parent. While friendly parent provisions apply to both parents, in cases where 50/50 shared care is not in place the onus is on the parent who has physical custody of the children for the greater proportion of time. This generally means the mother. Friendly Parent provisions require parents to facilitate and encourage the children's relationship with the other parent, regardless of any safety issues to themselves or the children. It is a part of the Act that is very open to mainpulation as it does not take much to paint one parent as being "unfriendly" to the other.
To get back on track.....
Maybe it is time we all stopped putting our rights to the front and centre and looked instead at our responsibilities. I believe that if we all met our responsibilities, as implied by our rights, then the world would be a safer, happier place.
I couldn't agree more. Growing up my father was no where near a "friendly parent". He was abusive in more ways that one. And if a parent, mother or father is that way to their children, I feel it is the CHILDREN'S right to refuse to see that person. Unfortunately, the justice system isn't that fair. Anyway, again another great blog. I look forward to reading more from you.
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