Not a Proper Victim?

Remember Elizabeth Smart, the 14 year old girl who was kidnapped by a monster and held captive for 9 months? News has broken that nearly eight years later the monster has been found guilty. A victory for the legal system and testament to the strength of this young woman, who testified for three days about the rapes and abuse she lived with during that horrific 9 month period. Many of the news articles I have seen make comment about the smile on Miss Smart's face as she left the court after the verdict was announced. And why shouldn't she smile?

However it seems that many of those commenting on the articles have an issue with the fact that she was smiling. See THIS ARTICLE, for example.

For the life of me I could not fathom why people should be concerned about this courageous young woman smiling about what is obviously good news for her and her family. Then it struck me; she isn't acting like a 'proper' victim.

Victims of sexual assault are still expected to hold the shame of what was done to them. They are expected to be distraught and distressed, hysterical even, some would say. They are expected to live their lives in the shadows and never leave home again. They are expected to have fought their attackers, regardless of the potential consequences and to have reported their crime immediately. 'Proper' victims of rape and sexual assault are not meant to be self-assured, confident looking young women. They are not meant to speak clearly and openly in court about what was done to them.

I, for one, am exceptionally happy to see that Elizabeth Smart is able to live her life and be happy that justice has been done. I do not, however, think for one minute that those nine months didn't leave scars that will affect the rest of her life.

I wonder what the comments would have been like if Miss Smart did behave as a 'proper' victim should; if she had been teary, depressed, anxious and fearful (not to say that she isn't all those things, just that that wasn't the public face she presented). Would we have then read comments about how it was so long ago, she was safe now, she should forget about it, put it behind her? I believe we would have.

My wish for the world is that we could accept the reactions of survivors and victims without the often less than subtle judgement that rests behind many comments. Maybe then more of us would feel as though we could be open about what happened and persue the justice we all deserve.