...play on; give me excess of it....
William Shakespeare - Twelth Night
Music is something that has got me through a lot of hard times. When things were at their worst it didn't matter what it was, so long as it was loud. Then a friend introduced me to the music of Within Temptation. Several of their songs touched me; more than that they spoke the words I couldn't say. Some of my favourites, songs that speak to me or are words I wish I could find, are Stand My Ground, Destroyed and Overcome. If it was possible to wear out cds I would have done so within weeks of getting them.
Early last year I was extremely lucky to get to meet Kasey Chambers and Beccy Cole, two of Australia's best female country music artists. Both are amazing women. Kasey's song, Not Pretty Enough, is one that I think I will always identify with because I have always felt I have had to be 'enough' for all the people in my life, be it my family, friends, or workmates. I think this is something I will struggle with for a long time to come. Kasey's new cd, Little Bird, also has songs with which I identify. The title track is one and Beautiful Mess is another. Beccy Cole has so many songs that I identify with it would be impossible to name them all. She has also done some amazing cover versions that just blow me away. Better Woman, Lazybones, Strong Enough to Bend....the list goes on. If you want to hear a fantastic cover of the Divinyls Pleasure and Pain check out Beccy's myspace page.
Like many other survivors of sexual assault I have found that the music of Tori Amos really touches something inside me, particularly from the Little Earthquakes cd. It seems almost a cliche but it is true, she understands because she has been there. Precious Things and Silent All These Years, and of course Me and a Gun, all show how I have felt at times.
I could go on and on with this. Music is a part of my life, a part of who I am. It helps me express how I am feeling and things I want to say. At the moment the song that is in my mind the most is Reflections by Diana Ross and the Supremes. Part of the reason for this is because I am currently working my way through a dvd set of the China Beach tv series, for which Reflections is the opening theme, the other part is because it speaks, in part, of my life now, and my need to reflect on what happened and how it has affected me.
Reflections - Diana Ross and the Supremes
Through the mirror of my mind
Time after time
I see reflections of you and me
Reflections of
The way life used to be
Reflections of
The love you took from me
Oh, I'm all alone now
No love to shield me
Trapped in a world
That's a distorted reality
Hapiness you took from me
And left me alone
With only memories
Through the mirror of my mind
Through these tears that I'm crying
Reflects a hurt I can't control
'Cause although you're gone
I keep holding on
To the happy times
Oh, when you were mine
As I peer through the window
Of lost time
Looking over my yesterdays
And all the love I gave all in vain
(All the love) All the love
That I've wasted
(All the tears) All the tears
That I've tasted
All in vain
Through the hollow of my tears
I see a dream that's lost
From the hurt
That you have caused
Everywhere I turn
Seems like everything I see
Reflects the love that used to be
In you I put
All my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust
After all the nights
I sat alone and wept
Just a handful of promisses
Are all that's left of loving you
Reflections of
The way life used to be
Reflections of
The love you took from me
In you I put
All my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust...
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